FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,

One who’s handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

Amen.

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.

This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit

Amen