Love: When your eyes meet across a crowded room.

Lust: When your tongues meet across a crowded room.

Marriage: When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

Love: When intercourse is called making love.

Lust: When intercourse is called screwing.

Marriage: When Intercourse is a little town in Pennsylvania.

Love: When you argue over how many kids to have.

Lust: When you argue over who gets the wet spot.

Marriage: When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

Love: When you share everything you own.

Lust: When you steal everything they own.

Marriage: When the bank owns everything.

Love: When it doesn’t matter if you don’t climax.

Lust: When the relationship is over if you don’t climax.

Marriage: When…. uh…. what’s a climax.

Love: When your heart flutters every time you see them.

Lust: When your groin twitches every time you see them.

Marriage: When your wallet empties every time you see them.

Love: When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.

Lust: When all the songs on the radio determine how you do it.

Marriage: When you listen to talk radio.

Love: When breaking up is something you try not to think about.

Lust: When staying together is something you try not to think about.

Marriage: When just getting through the day is your only thought.

Love: When you’re only interested in doing things with your partner.

Lust: When you’re only interested in doing things TO your partner.

Marriage: When you’re only interested in your golf score.

Love: When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.

Lust: When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex.

Marriage: When a rainy day means it’s time to clean the basement.

Love: You only leave the house for coffee and doughnuts.

Lust: You only leave the house for condoms and lube.

Marriage: You only leave the house when you’re allowed.