Friday 31 December 2004

Message To Spammers

STOP FUCKING SPAMMING MY BLOG YOU C**TS!

Wednesday 29 December 2004

House Of Flying Daggers

I love having a member of BAFTA in the family, it means you get tons of free movies every year.

We just got our hands on a copy of House Of Flying Daggers on DVD, haven’t watched it yet… will do soon though!

I watched HOFD on Saturday, and it’s amazing. Such a fantastic piece of visual artistry, and it has a plot *shock*.

I’m sure Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon had a plot too, but I must’ve gotten lost somewhere. It was more beautiful than understandable. HOFD was both.

Now I’ve gotta watch Hero, I’ve heard that is just as good as HOFD.

Monday 27 December 2004

Top 10 Worst Movies Of 2004

Audiences were punished with this dishonorable group of films:

  1. The Chronicles of Riddick.
  2. Catwoman.
  3. The Stepford Wives.
  4. The Whole Ten Yards.
  5. Resident Evil: Apocalypse.
  6. Paparazzi.
  7. Taxi.
  8. Surviving Christmas.
  9. Envy.
  10. Christmas with the Kranks.

What’s odd is, that I’ve not seen any of these movies… and I have no real plans to either!

Taken from MSNBC

Sunday 26 December 2004

MT-Blacklist

I have started to receive some comment spam on my blog (as well as the Guestbook on my main site!), I knew it was only a matter of time before they’d attack here, so I’ve implemented Jay Allen’s excellent MT-Blacklist plugin.

That should hopefully stop the bastards in their tracks. As another step I renamed my TrackBack and Comment scripts, as spammers like to send data to them directly without using the comment form on my pages. I’ve already noticed a few attempts in my error logs.

If anyone notices any problems while commenting (or any other errors on my blog), please let me know!!

Bah, spam sucks!

Gravatars

I discovered a really cool thing the other week. They’re called Gravatars – which stands for Globally Recognised Avatars. If you post to a Gravatar enabled blog, and you have a Gravatar account, then you’ll see whatever avatar you have picked appear next to your comments.

It’s pretty cool… and I thought I’d like some of that. So I’ve enabled it on my blog, and got myself an account. All my comments will have my lil duckie on them. If you want your own Gravatar, you will need to visit the Gravatar sign up page.

Saturday 25 December 2004

It’s Christmas!!

Merry Christmas one and all! Even to those than don’t celebrate it. As many of you probably already know, I don’t believe in the birth of Christ… I just love the whole getting presents and eating way too much aspect of the festivities.

As usual, my grandmother and her friend came over. They drive all the way from Essex to be with us, as we open our presents and tuck into our Christmas Turkey… and I ate way too much as usual!!

This year, most of my presents weren’t that much of a surprise as I’d picked them out (or ordered them) myself. I got a Panasonic DVD Recorder (to replace my VCR and DVD player), 2 CSI box sets (CSI season 4 and CSI:Miami season 1), some Lindor chocolates (mmmm!!) and a sweater. There are still a few more to come! Should get those tomorrow. 🙂

I hope everyone reading this got exactly what they wanted for Christmas.

Friday 24 December 2004

Haynes Manual

For those who haven’t used a Haynes Manual, these are the books aimed at those who want to fix their own vehicles and which keep qualified mechanics in paid employment putting things right afterwards. They are chock full of photos, diagrams and step-by-step instructions which are obvious if you are a fully qualified motor mechanic, but which are frighteningly sparse on detail for the average Joe in the street who wants to change a set of spark plugs on a 1981 VW Polo.

Here’s some of the more common phrases found throughout the manuals and their translations into real world english.

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.

Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don’t you?

Haynes: Should remove easily.

Translation: Will be corroded into place… clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Remove small retaining clip.

Translation: Take off 15 years of stubborn crud, it’s there somewhere.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.

Translation: You will skin your knuckles! Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: This is a tight fit.

Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7…

Translation: That’ll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scarey photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Locate …

Translation: This photo of a hex nut is the only clue we’re giving you.

Haynes: Pry…

Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into…

Haynes: Undo…

Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size).

Haynes: Ease …

Translation: Apply superhuman strength to …

Haynes: Retain tiny spring and/or ball bearing

Translation: “Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out”!

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb…

Translation: OK – that’s the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.

Haynes: Lightly…

Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered “lightly”.

Haynes: Weekly checks…

Translation: If it isn’t broken don’t fix it!

Continue reading…

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