Monday 19 September 2005

Japanese Knowledge

It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history”.

“Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death?’

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up.

“Patrick Henry, 1775.” He said.

“Very good! Who said ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'”?

Again, no response except from Suzuki.

“Abraham Lincoln, 1863.” said Suzuki.

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.”

She heard a loud whisper: “Fuck the Japanese.”

“Who said that?” she demanded.

Suzuki put his hand up. “Lee Iacocca, 1982.”

At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke”

The teacher glares and asks “All right! Now, who said that?”

Again, Suzuki says, “George Bush [Sr.] to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”

Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”

Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, “California Congressman Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.”

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re fucked!”

…And Suzuki said, “Americans, in Iraq 2004!”

Wednesday 07 September 2005

New Domain

I’ve decided that I will be moving my blog (yes, again) to a new domain. I’m not sure if it’ll be an easy move or not, but hopefully I won’t lose any data in the process.

I’ll probably keep the old domain redirecting to the new one for maybe 6-12 months, so people can still find me, but hopefully this move will be the last one.

Due to the move I will be renaming the blog and putting a new graphic in my header, and maybe a redesign is on the cards?

UPDATE: The move is complete, and my blog is now running on the new domain. 🙂

UPDATE: So far everything is working correctly, this is a good thing™.

Tuesday 06 September 2005

Rebuilding The Big Easy

From AP:

With a major levee break finally plugged, engineers struggled to pump out the flooded city Tuesday as authorities braced for the horrors the receding water would reveal. “It’s going to be awful and it’s going to wake the nation up again,” the mayor said.

Mayor Ray Nagin said it would take three weeks to remove the water and another few weeks to clear the debris. It could also take up to eight weeks to get the electricity back on.

Repairs have been completed on the 17th Street canal levee breach in New Orleans and water is being pumped out of the canal and back into Lake Pontchartrain.

From Reuters:

New Orleans was slowly turning back the floodwaters on Tuesday as engineers closed a major break in levees swamped by Hurricane Katrina — a disaster the mayor says may have killed 10,000 in his city.

The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers said it plugged a big gap in the levees on Monday and was pumping water out of the city, a task it expects will take up to 80 days.

The Corps was also working to plug another major breach in the levees built to keep out the Mississippi River and Lake Pontchartrain, which nearly surround the city, spokesman John Hall said.

“We are proceeding very gently,” Hall said of the pumping operation. Engineers want to ensure the water being pumped out does not further damage the levee system and create a new breach.

From WWL:

New Orleans is getting tough with people who are still refusing to leave the hurricane-ravaged city.

Mayor Ray Nagin says water will no longer be handed out to people who refuse to leave.

Despite evacuations, rescues and relief efforts, Deputy Police Chief W.J. Riley says some people still don’t want to leave their homes while others are hanging back to take part in looting and other criminal activity.

State police are using force to get some to move. A SWAT team, armed with rifles, confronted two brothers at their home in the Uptown section of New Orleans, leaving one sobbing.

One officer says the team tried to make sure that the two men understood that food and water is becoming scarce and that disease could begin spreading.

Now the hard task of finding, identifying and counting the dead begins. Pretty much every house in the city is going to have to be searched for bodies. So far the count stands at 59 (10 from the Superdome), and it will just keep rising. Mississipi’s death toll currently stands at 161.

When The Levee Breaks

Google Maps has been updated with new aerial shots of New Orleans, taken on the 31st of August. Shown below is picture of New Orleans before the hurricane struck, if you move your mouse over the image it’ll overlay the new pictures and you can instantly see the area affected (said to be the size of Great Britain!).

New Orleans

Friday 02 September 2005

Uncyclopedia

After all that seriousness, some comedy. I’ve just come across a wiki similar to the almighty wikipedia, but goes for satire and fiction instead of fact.

Here’s their entry on New Orleans New Venice:

New Venice is a city located in the south of Louisiana. It was founded by some girl named Katrina on August 28th 2005. This city is quite beautiful, most of its buildings are built in water and the population moves around with boats and enjoy robbing stores and shooting at military helicopters.

New Venice is also famous for owning the worst-smelling stadium and convention center worldwide.

New Venice was formerly known as New Orleans, but Katrina decided that it was time to change the city´s name to a more suitable one.

I know it’s pretty poor taste, but us British like to try to make light of a bad situation through comedy. We do it all the time.

Katrina’s Legacy Continued

On the arrival of 300 “battle-tested” National Guardsmen:

“They have M-16s and are locked and loaded. These troops know how to shoot and kill and I expect they will,” Kathleen Blanco said.

Mayor Nagin’s comments on the lack of rapid response to the disaster to WWL-AM –

But we authorized $8 billion to go to Iraq lickety-quick. After 9/11, we gave the president unprecedented powers lickety-quick to take care of New York and other places.

Now, you mean to tell me that a place where most of your oil is coming through, a place that is so unique when you mention New Orleans anywhere around the world, everybody’s eyes light up — you mean to tell me that a place where you probably have thousands of people that have died and thousands more that are dying every day, that we can’t figure out a way to authorize the resources that we need? Come on, man.

Listen to the interview | The transcript – The guy sure is passionate, and I totally understand why.

The mayor of New Orleans is seething over what he sees as the government’s slow response to his city’s disaster. Ray Nagin went on WWL Radio last night to say the feds “don’t have a clue what’s going on.” He added, “Excuse my French — everybody in America — but I am pissed.”

Lawlessness getting out of control… hopefully the influx of National Guardsmen will quell the problems.

Lawlessness rules ok.

quack - © 2002-2018